Once For Love
by princessofpyke
Summary: Dany laughed at Jorah's fear of the white wolf, she did not fear the big animal rather she found it very beautiful and intriguing, just like his master.
1. Ice

_No_, her thoughts whispered, _not like this_. "Come back," she cried softly. And he did,his body took a swift turn and he now faced her. She lay there staring at the black curls falling on his face, his eyes were sad and yearning. She wondered if he had ever known love. Surely the men of Night Watch must have experienced a sort of a love before taking the cloak. An affair perhaps, a wench, a lady (Dany heard he was Eddard Stark's bastard), or even a whore. Dany tried to look and look but there was nothing there. He's eyes were empty, there was no fire in them, fire that she had known in most men but, then again,he wasn't most men. His were dark eyes, as dark as the cloak he wore. His eyes were solely vacant except for that slight glimmer of gentleness that melted her insides.

Dany tried to gain composure, she felt silly crying out his name, asking him to come back, but it was impossible. She felt so weak and vulnerable with him, it was all so strange. Her body trembled and her voice shaked. "Jon," she whispered as lowly as she could manage.

She knew he was a man of the watch_, What was she thinking?_ What were _they_ doing? Asking him to her tent in the middle of night with no other sole intention, yes it was true there was only _one_ intention. She had tried to convince herself she only wanted a word with him but was only half the truth. She did want his words, always so kind and reassuring,but she wanted_ him_ and she felt ashamed. The guilt ran through her, guilt because of Drogo, guilt because of Jorah who warned her about this, he had seen the look on her face the first time she encountered the black brother, as they were called.

Dany remembered that day, she trusted him immediately. When he kneeled to her and spoke her name, or queen title that is, she knew she could follow him blindly. If Jon Snow told Daenerys Stormborn to follow him beyond the wall she most gladly do so. This ashamed Dany, her was the blood of dragons,not of weaklings. She was not a girl who fell in love with knights or that is Night Watch brothers, she was not a girl to follow men, men followed her and that's the way she liked it. Yet Jon Snow did not ask to be followed, others followed, he was rather well-liked and he was someone worthy to be followed.

Dany agreed with the most part. She felt he could be rather dull at times but she thought it was more of her brother of Night Watch role. She had seen him laughing with the others,such a wide,sweet smile he had. He was too charming, but Dany knew it was only she who felt so. Jon wore black all the time, with his thick furs and always carried a sword to the side. His face was always hard and stern but eager, he had no boyish qualities to produce charms nor manly features to produce desires.

Yet she desired him,but it was a different kind of desire. It was not only a thing of flesh but something else she could not put into words. She just knew when she saw him something called out and burned, at the same time something melted inside her. Never had she felt such fire and such chill inside of her. When he touched her, usually by accident and casualty everything burned,though it was not flesh to flesh touch for he always wore his black gloves. They said his hand was burned,others said it was burn to the point no flesh was left only icy cold bones. Dany could care less, she wouldn't mind either.

When he spoke to her, she felt the hairs behind her neck rise. Goosebumps crawled all over her, and she felt a thick rush of cool liquid running through her blood. Her maids mocked him,"The man of the North are cold,it is known. It is said in long,heavy winters their hearts turn into cold stones." Dany wondered how many heavy winters he had endured, though it was only summer, behind the wall, she had heard,it was always winter. _He must still have a heart, I seen him laugh, his laugh is too warm,_Dany said to herself. He must be warm, he was always respectful towards her, even kind at times.

She rarely got to interact with him for she avoided him. She felt safer and less vulnerable and less tempted that way. At the beginning Jorah joked with her, he thought she took a disliking to that Jon Snow. Then he joked no longer. _He knows,_she thought. And Jorah knew and he warned her, he said "He was taken an oath and you are bound to your people, don't forget what you came here for." And now she felt guilt for ignoring his fair warning.

But it was not only she who carried a guilty burden, she thought as looked at the curve of Jon Snow's face in the dark of her tent. He had taken an oath,he had decided to come here. He had known and he came, and the guilt was there. Jon Snow's decision reassured her, _he is as guilty as I am_.

But there was no guilt visible when Jon Snow's eyes met hers in her tent, but an endless solace in them. Only Jon Snow she called him, now she had just addressed him as Jon. She wanted him as Jon,not Jon Snow. She wanted to be able whisper his name, to say it over and over again until it worn out on her lips. How she liked his name for no other reason that it was his name. Perfect as he was.

Jon's eyes locked on her for a bit before he let the word slip out of his tongue,_Daenerys._ Not _khaleesi_ ,nor your grace, nor my queen, but Daenerys. Satisfaction crept up Dany, even more so did the goosebumps and cold liquid in her blood. It was her name, not a title or a courtesy but her name. Dany smiled slightly but in the dark he could not tell. Jon kept his nervous eyes on her with that eagerness that she liked so much.

"Yes," she said weakly. She could not think of another thing to say but yes. Just as Khal Drogo had said no on their wedding night, Dany said yes to the brother of the Night Watch. She then let her hand reach out and cup his cheek. How she had craved that moment, to touch his flesh seemed like a long-waited victory. He was _so_ cold. She wondered whether it was the cold outside the warmth of her tent or if he was _always_ this cold. Jon's face leaned against her hand,closing his eyes and accepting the touch.

"You are cold,my sweetling," the words slipped out before she could stop them. Sweetling seemed like a silly word, surely the Dothraki women would laugh at term of endearment. But sweetling was the word she had heard the old kind Ser Willem calling his long-dead wife. "She was my sweetling, she was always sweet," he had told Dany. She'd never thought she would call anyone that, but she did now.

"I am cold," he breathed out holding on her hand with those black gloves of his. "But I'm used to it," he said pulling the hand away from him and back to her. Dany accepted it as a defeat, she felt ashamed and decided she rather not speak. They both remained silent for seconds until Jon's gloved hands brushed up against hers seeking her touch. Dany felt air come back to her, she touched the tip of his fingers and she spoke, "Can you take them off?" She looked at him, his face tilting down and his eyes as deep as ever. "I am burned," he muttered. "I do not care," she replied.

Jon obeyed the command and peeled off the black gloves. Dany felt both hands, one was soft, the other was rugged and scarred. "You are cold," she said a sweet chuckle. Jon chortled lightly, "Am I?" He let his fingers enterwine with hers. Dany felt a unexpectant warmth sweep over her. "What are you,Jon Snow?" she asked keeping the entwinement. "A bastard," he said, there was no shame in his voice. Dany gazed at him,"Only that? That is so little. You are much,much more." "Perhaps. I been a lot, I suppose." Jon said letting go of Dany's hand.

Dany was becoming wary of grabbing and letting go. Dany wanted him, she was not sure in what way entirely yet. "Jon Snow…" she began. "You said Jon, you called me Jon," he interrupted. Dany blushed unsure why and grateful it was too dark to be seen. "I did," She said unconvinced. Dany reached out to touch his cheek again now more determined than ever. Her thumb rubbed the rough of his beard stubble. Her eyes locked on his, she would not let him go. "Why did you come? What is it that you want?,"Dany blurted out. It was rather a blunt thing to say, after all it was shewho had asked him to come,but he _had _come.

Jon's gaze dropped and he stood quiet for a moment. "I came because I wanted to, I came because I wanted to be _here_," he said with some shame in his voice_. Here? But what does 'here' mean?,_ Dany thought. Was it her bed? Was he only trying to bed her? She heard the crows had many women, they took no wives but whores ,the saying went. If he was only trying to bed her and get her to spread her legs, Dany felt foolish and uninterested.

He looked up and he met her eyes, they were dark but there was also glint of warmth she had never expected. "I wanted to be here with you," he finished. It was this time that Dany's gaze dropped, she felt all the breath in her lungs slip out. _Stop this, you are not a child_, she told to herself. But why did she feel like one? She felt like jelly all over, she would sure tremble if he touched her, he was too close. Dany could not think of what to say that would calm all the feelings that were stirring inside of her.

The air in the tent had become so still that she could hear her dragons breathing. She could almost feel them with her, her _dragons_… She wondered if Jon would be scared of her dragons, many men were but she felt Jon would not. After all when the Night Watch had been inform of the Khaleesi's dragons many gaped and fled thinking Daenerys had conjure dark magic to bring back the dragons from the dead. Only Jon and others had felt the need to see them. She wondered what Jon thought of dragons. If fear wasn't what he held for then she wondered what. She thought of Jon's direwolf, "the white beast" Jorah had said. Dany laughed at Jorah's fear of the wolf, she did not fear the big animal rather she found it very beautiful and intriguing, just like his master.

"Daenerys," Jon asked snapping Daenerys out of her thoughts. His voice sounded hesitant, maybe he too heard the dragons and he did maybe fear them. Dany smiled, "I just thought about your wolf, where is it?" Jon furrowed his brow, "My wolf? He's outside. I told him to stay, I wouldn't bring him inside your tent. I don't think that would be right." "Oh. And _this_ is right?" Dany said with a smirk. Jon's face became flustered, "No, no. I didn't mean that. I mean I guess this isn't right either." Jon moved and sat down to Dany's side, he sighed. Seeing him in between the shadows and the light peeking into her tent, Dany felt that burning sensation start. He was so empty and alone, and yet so full and alive. Dany wanted to be part of him, to know him, to hold him, to know every single word before he spoke. Dany wanted him in many ways, but she realized it now, she wanted_ him_. She wanted his warmth, his cold, his nights, his mornings, she never wanted anything so bad. She had never had anything she wanted either. She realized it was time she had what she wanted.


	2. Fire

_Cold_, Jon thought. _It's too cold_, but that was far from truth. Daenerys Targaryen's tent was beyond warm and this attributed to the heat wave brewing from the darkest corner of the tent;_ dragons_, he guessed. Jon could almost hear them snoring but that seemed a little more in his imagination.

Yet he felt cold. He was always cold, he assumed he would be _always_ be cold. "That's what Northernmen are made of!" he heard a man jest at one of Winterfell's banquets. But there was more to this cold than a thing of Northernmen, his cold was beyond this. His cold was a curse, a bitter reminder to what he was and is_. I been a crow,an oathbreaker, a turncloak, a wildling, a craven, a crow again and a bastard_. Daenerys Targaryen had been right, he was much more than a bastard but among all things he was a bastard. No titles or positions of Lord Commander could take that away from him.

It was Lord Commander Jon who had decided to assist the Dragon Queen, this was nothing new; the man of the Night's Watch bowed to no king but refused no one as King either. "If the Targaryen girl wishes to call herself Queen and take over Westeros, who are we stop her?" Ser Myrcell Alamos, a new but wise Crow had told him. And he was right, the Night's Watch would go no further to help or serve the Mother of Dragons, as she styled herself (and was well-suited as she did give birth to the last three remaining dragons in the world, Jon knew little about how much of truth was in this), then help her past The New Gift safely. That was it, courtesy and coincidence, two things that had sealed the deal. And his faith as well, or so he feared.

Jon shivered in the Queen's bed, it was warm but why was he _so_ cold? _The Others take me_, Jon thought. The Others had _taken_ him, taken him in a sense that Jon Snow would never forget the Others and his duty, _their eyes are blue and their skin is cold_... Jon didn't want to go further. _Dragonglass can kill them, and fire,too_, Jon whispered in his thoughts. _Fire, she's of fire, not kissed like _her_ but of fire. _

He had heard tales about this Queen, khaleesi they whispered, mother they called her, he heard of her extraordinary beauty, "violet embers her eyes were and silver was hair", the stories went. Jon found both accounts underwhelming when he first saw Daenerys Targaryen, he was not immediately taken by her but could not deny her beauty. Jon swayed between opinions those first weeks, one because of the whispers of black magic to bring the dragons from the death, " he killed her khal for blood" they said, and the rumors of her conquest "she burned many cities,killed many" they also said. Jon was confused at these remarks because he saw neither blood nor fire when he saw Daenerys Targaryen.

She was kind with her people, sweet with her dragon and just with her enemies, he sometimes overheard her talk about her future conquest, what she would do with her enemies. "They must kneel, I am forgiving but they must kneel and take me as their blood, whoever kneels to me I can promise no harm" Daenerys spoke, "however who ever denies as me as queen I cannot forgive, I promised they will die screaming."

_Screaming_, the word stuck in Jon's head. She did not frightened him, many others were but not him. There was something of her that seemed worthy, something of her that echoed Jon of the word honor, but what it was he could not explain. He saw her frequently, sometimes he admitted to spying her, he felt rather shy and awkward when around her and he felt himself mumble whenever they spoke. He was the 998th Lord Commander of the Watch, mumbling while talking to a Queen was unacceptable. Yet Jon knew of unacceptables, this for instance.

"Jon," she whispered. Jon shook off his thoughts for a minute and met her gaze. How long had they been talking before they stopped or moreover _he_ stopped? Jon saw her again,she had bright,burning eyes and her hair was dry with remaining silver streaks , her skin was sun-kissed and she was beautiful only in the name. She seemed beautiful in all of ways to Jon. "Are you awake or have you fallen asleep?" her voice inquired. "Both," he mumbled, again the nerves took a hold of him. Jon thought she heard her laugh but maybe it was the dragons again, Jon was sure they were snoring too loud. "How can you be both?" Daenerys said. He found that intriguing, she never _asked_, she just _said_ things, she didn't ask for something, she took it, that part intrigued and scared Jon the most.

"I don't know" Jon whispered moving awkwardly between the sheets, he was thankful for the blanket the Dragon Queen had provided him, thankful for the amount of things the thick sheets of lion fur could cover… "What do you know?" the Queen, again, said not asked. "Nothing", he said.

Jon felt her hand once more on his cheek, she was warm. She was always _warm_, he liked her touch it made him feel different, different and safe. He wasn't completely sure about the last part, Jon had forgotten how safe felt anyway. Safe had been Winterfell, he supposed, his family, his sisters and brothers, Ygritte… "Jon Snow," Daenerys spoke. He remained silent, he did not know exactly what to say and he did not want her hand to move from his cheek. "Do you like the cold?" she asked. Jon thought very little before he replied, "Somewhat, sometimes the cold can be good, other times… Other times it can be very cruel."

Daenerys nodded to what he said but her eyes did not seem to hear it. "Then you must be _very_ cold" she said. "But you don't have to be cold," she said almost at once. Jon did not comprehend. The words started rushing out,"You don't have to, I can keep you warm, I can warm your nights when the fire is not strong enough, I can keep a blaze your mornings when the sun is not enough, I can be the light in your darkness, I can beyour fire, Jon Snow. I can keep you warm but you must…you must, you must let me _be_. _I _am willing to if _you_ are willing." Daenerys sighed when she finished. Jon stood quiet.

No woman had ever wanted him like this, except for Ygritte but Ygritte had been Ygritte and she was a wild woman who thought he knew nothing, and he still did, he supposed. But Daenerys Targaryen was Stormborn, Mother of Dragons, The Dragon Queen, Khaleesi, the true heir to the Iron Throne, depending who you asked, and the list went on and on. Daenerys had many names, just like Jon, maybe like his names, they were nothing more than a cruel jest from the gods. He did not love after Ygritte, if had loved at all. _I would not let her died if I loved her, the Crows take no wives, I took her as mine and I let her die, _Jon remembered. _Maybe I can't love and that would be a wonderful thing, there is no pain in that, _he concluded.

"Say something!" Daenerys said, interrupting his train of thoughts. "Don't just lay there thinking, please speak truthfully," she said almost as if in a royal command. Jon knew what to say or ask more specifically, "Do you love me?" Daenerys' face turned into stone and she looked down too quickly before she blurted out, "No."

"Good cause I'm not worthy to be loved, I have taken an oath, you see, and I have broken it too many times. I came here with bad intentions, to forsaken my oath once more. What kind Lord Commander, am I?" Jon said at once. "A dull one," Daenerys replied.

Jon couldn't handle any more word play, he should of never come here to her. He wanted her, he did, more than he ever wanted something in awhile possibly in his life, but he couldn't be playing with fire, to sort of speak. Jon tore the blankets and furs off him and rose from the Queen's bed. He thought he heard the dragons snores getting louder, but maybe he was all wrong. "May I be excused,your grace?"he asked as courteously as he could manage. "You left the first time," Daenerys said. "I should of left, but I came back because you asked me to,your grace," he said bitterly.

"You are mad now,aren't you?" Daenerys told him. "No." he blurted out. "You lie," she said. Jon couldn't wait to leave, Ghost would be outside, he had to get out of the premises before anyone noticed… Her hand grabbed Jon's wrist, warmth surrounded him. "Do you love me,Jon Snow?" Daenerys Targaryen asked for the very first time.

Jon wanted her _warmth_ but he needed to let go, yet he couldn't bring himself to move. "I do not know, and frankly I do not want to find out."


End file.
